What Is Love 243: Merril
Beatty NV USA

Quadriptych Digital Image 2015-2017

The definition of love is being able to forgive people for little things or big things. But at the same time, make sure they learn they were doing something wrong. Little mistakes, enough of them make big mistakes, and big mistakes we don’t forgive, but the fact is little mistakes become big mistakes because they all add up together so consequently if we can forgive little ones, we can forgive big ones.

My woman, I loved her so much, I still miss her. And my problem was, she was such a lady, and we had so much fun that I can’t even look at other women anymore because they just don’t look like a lady. She was my lady. She was, I’m telling ya, I was always proud to be with her. I thought she was beautiful. I’ve had other people say: “well she’s not that…” You show me another sixty-seven year old woman that looks that good. In the eyes of the beholder, but you can see that something’s there. While she was Junior Miss California when she was a teenager in high school and I’ve got a picture of her in her thirties at home that she looks absolutely flawless, I mean gorgeous.

She came to work for this company I was working for and I used to be the trainer, in charge of all the sales people, and training them and she worked with me for three days. Now we talked about gambling, she found out I love to gamble. She talked to me about water skiing, I said “I don’t water ski, but I love watching speed” and just different things and the vibes got so damn heavy that you could cut them with a knife and yeah, everything… and she was, well, her daughter-in-law was in the Guinness Book Of World Records for doing the hundred-eleven-eleven on water on one ski. And she was a water skier, and anyway, we were yacking away and I said “Oh, that’s fantastic”. Our damned vibes are getting so heavy, she says “Bullshit. Get a motel.” So I did.

The she looks at me afterwards and she says “You son of a bitch”. And I said: “Woah, we just got through making love and you’re calling me a son of a bitch?” “You’re goddamned right I am” she says, “I thought it was gonna be a shitty one stand, typical one night stand” and she says “it was fabulous”. From then on we were together. Twelve and a half years. And she kept sayin’, everybody sayin’ to us, her friends, my friends, everybody… “When are you guys getting married? When are you guys getting married? We can tell you guys love eachother, when are you getting married?” I says “Never”. She’d say the same thing, “Never”. We’re having too much fun to get married and ruin it!

Hard times, I’ve been up and down like a yo-yo my whole life. Hell, it didn’t make any difference. If we only had a buck in our pocket, we had a dollar bill. If we had a thousand in our pocket, we’d have a thousand dollar bill. Ok now, let’s go travel (chuckle). We traveled the whole East Coast and we used to go to Mexico, fly down there, have a great time. I mean we did… who needs a piece of paper? I had a good marriage before for about twenty years of the thirty-two years I was married. It was a great marriage but then she started going through the change of life and I’m telling you, she changed completely. And the doctor told her, he says: “you’d better take the medication”, and she says: “No, no, no… grumble, grumble, it causes cancer, grumble, grumble” and he says: “Sweetheart, you could suffer everything, you might not come out of it.” She says “No! Grumble, grumble”. Well, she suffered everything, she lost. And then I met her. And man, I wasn’t gonna let anything disrupt that.