What Is Love 240: Tony
ALBQ Pridefest, Albuquerque NM
Quadriptych Digital Image 2015-2017


I have a long story about it, but I don’t… Ok, well… back in 1995 I went to this little “Bear” dinner thing, and it was the first time I had gone to something like that and so I went dressed up, this little Baptist boy from North Carolina, I went dressed up like I was going to Sunday School or something, and I got there to, it was an all-you-can-eat Chinese place, and I got there and it was like oh my god, guys were in chaps, guys were in chaps with... you know all kinds of things with just, obviously it was a group of gay men that were kind of off the beaten path and I’m like "Ok, so…" everybody knows why and where I’m at and so I said ok, relax, the worst that can happen is nobody here knows me and so we were sitting there eating and I noticed this guy at the far end of the table and I watched him and saw him and I though god, he was so cute.

Then after that everyone went over to this bar called "Warehouse 22", which some people called “Whorehouse 22”, and I was sitting there at, you know one of the little tables having a cocktail and he walked over and he says “Would you like to go out sometime?” and it I was just like, I was right away in love with him and I could see the future with him and all this stuff and it was really kind of crazy but we were only together for about a year and a month and ten days because he just decided he loved his therapist more.

He had a therapist for longer than you’re supposed to have a therapist and I think the therapist had a very unhealthy influence on him… he could do nothing without checking with the therapist and when we were kind of going through the break-up phase he’d call me every now and again and say “Hey, I think I want to try and see if we could get back together” and I’d say “ok, that’s fine. You know what? We’re going to have to go see a therapist together and you’re going to have to not go see the one you go to anymore” and he’d call the therapist and the guy said “No, don’t do that.” The old man he’s married to now looks like Truman Capote, it’s not the same, it’s not the therapist, which I’m surprised he didn’t marry the therapist, you know, so, that’s that story!

It was truly a “love at first sight” kind of thing, which I would never say I believed in but it was… linked. And that’s because I think he and I were linked, like right away, and linked across time and linked across our emotions and linked it was just really a love at first sight kind of thing and like I said, I would never believe in it, but you know? It’s like, when I met him, you know, we were experiencing what our life was going to be like for the next few months and up to a year and it was really good. The funny thing is he’d had psychiatric issues most of his life, I would say he was the craziest person I was ever involved with, but we had the best relationship, for the time, but you know, he just kinda… just couldn’t let go of the therapist so… you know, and talking about linked, my mother died about five years ago and she and I had a relationship that was kind of close, different from than my siblings had because you know, I wouldn’t put up with her bullshit, you know? And since she’s been gone she just sometimes feels like she’s just right out of range you know, so, linked as well like that.