What Is Love 187: Michelle
New Orleans Loving Festival, Bone Marrow Donor Drive, St. Roch Community Church, NOLA USA
Quadriptych Digital Image 2015-2017

Unconditional acceptance

Makes me feel weird after… I mean, you go around telling people I love you, I love you, I love you… love me, you know, and then when you really, really, really take a moment to really think about what that is, to you personally, even though you say it all day, you know you hug people and you say it all day, but just to really feel that, is something weird. Cause I say it a lot, I text it, without being: “Yeah, that’s what it is.”

Well, to me it’s like, love is like what you’re doing, like, you’re so passionate about something that it effects so many other people, then it's love within itself right, it goes way beyond your own person that it effects, so, just what I’ve done right now will effect me today, but it will effect when I say the words I love you, the meaning behind it you know?

And it comes at a funny time you know because my sister-in-law has gone through some challenges, she’s met this guy and they just got married, and it’s like, they’ve only been dating less that thirty days, but they say that they felt like in eight days that they had known eachother their whole lives, and so she was like, you know, so I want you to meet him, and we go and we meet this guy and he said “the moment I saw her I knew that was my wife, and I told her” and so she’s telling all her friends and yada yada… and I just looked at her, you know, and I said “you know, he’s fifty-six and you’re forty-five, I think y’all are old enough to know what you want, so I’m happy for you”.

Then I just started thinking, she’s excited about this, everyone else is giving her so much flak and I told my husband, every bride deserves a bouquet and every groom deserves it, so I just went and made her a bridal bouquet and got her a wedding gift, this is your day, you know, your wedding day is supposed to be special, so I drove all the way over to her house, and she was like “what are y’all doing?” and I was like “you deserve this, I love you so much” and I’m just her sister-in-law and but the guy, he was like, just shocked. He was like “This is the kindest thing anybody has ever done, I mean, you did this?” I was just like “If it was my wedding day, I would want something…” I mean… that’s love.

Beyond all your pasts, and all of your, whatever, at this moment, you’re at your happiest, then let me help you with that, so you can bask in your happiness. That’s what love is. Now tomorrow, if they get divorced… that’s on them. But that moment, was your… You see what I’m saying? That’s love. And I think as people we: “Oh, well you did this five years ago…” or “You did…” and that was five years ago, it’s gone.

We’re evolving every day. This has helped me evolve. We all have to make our choices. That is it. We were given unconditional by God. It’s so funny that he gave us the will to choose, him or not, he gave us freedom, but we always take that away from one another. “You can’t choose blue, because that’s not my favourite color”. You know what I’m saying? If we could all learn to silence the ego. When I look at people, my husband has a tattoo and he has a little dot, and that is his ego, he has “Silence the ego”, and I look at that to remind myself that you’re ego is only supposed to be teeny, teeny, teeny… so tiny that you don’t notice it, but your life is supposed to be what is the grandest around you, not your ego. And when I see politicians and stuff, I’m like: ego. Yup, ego. Silence the ego. And that’s what we should all strive to do. Who am I to say that your path to wherever you need to be is wrong. I think it’s that unconscious connective energy that everyone has, that just keeps the universe balanced. It’s that unconscious, I don’t know somebody in Des Moines but they may have that same spiritual energy, doesn’t matter what gets us there, as long as we’re using that energy, that’s beautiful.

A project like this is amazing, because we have to sock that ego in the face. Shut up! That’s not my ego telling you to shut up, it’s just to ego: “Shut Up!” and it’s a balance, it’s a hard balance, it’s a daily challenge but that’s what we’re here for, that’s why we’re here… you know, that challenge, that evolving, that conflict, that question, that is life. Without that, what do you have, we’d be a bunch of sloths just wandering around.